Kittens of Chaos

Vicecream Van at Nelly'sChapter Five

“Are we all ready?”

“…Not got my shoes!   Where’s my red shoes?”

“Can’t get any more stuff on top the van!”

“You’s wearing them!   Gimme my red shoes!   …And that’s my hat!”

“Get in!”

“Everyone get in!”

“Where’s my…   You sitting on it!”

“Don’t shove!”

“…Don’t you shove then!”

“We’rewe’re drivingdriving!” (The twins)

“First stop Nellie’s for lunch!”

“Not gorrany money!”

“…I got tuppence!”

“We can sell some of the Vicecream!”

“You are not taking ice-cream into the frozen wastes?” (Aunty Stella, exasperated)

“It’s VICEcream… with catnip!”

“Start up then!”

“Which way?”

“…Not that way!”

“Put the jingle music on!”

“What tune?”

“The Valkyrie song!”

“We want the Valkyrie song!” (All)


“Go faster!”

“Are we there yet?”

“Are we there yet?”

“Are we there YET?”

“Hello, is that Ginsbergbear?   It’s Aunty Stella here with a progress report… well a lack of progress report really.

“We are parked outside a pub… more of a house that sells beer actually… with a big white horse over the door.   Two of the kittens are selling catnip ice cream to pay for our lunch – to incredibly unsavoury looking customers.

“Inside it’s all cramped rooms and corridors and it’s run by four little old ladies… three feet tall, hunchbacked and, as best I can tell, all called Nellie.

“The rest of the kittens have stripped to their telnyashkas and are doing a disturbingly wiggly dance on the tables!”


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