On the Case

We must be there now. I seem to be a little stuck in the zip of a holdall I’ve been sitting on. I must get myself free and then hide again. Oh dear, this could be a problem.

“Ent-school-cardigan see Mick bitter.” I’m sure that is what I have just heard. It’s coming from somewhere below me.

“Ent-school-cardigan see Mick bitter.” Whoever or whatever that is is sounding a little irritated.Advice8

“Ach, English. Excuse me, ya, you grosser bird. Ya, das iz right. I am down with your hinter, your grosser bottom. You squashes me. Bitter move. Nein, nicht das way.” The voice is become a little muffled as well as hard to understand. “Ah, iz good. Pah. You smells.”

“I am sorry!” How rude! “I do not know to whom I am speaking but I do know it is not polite to tell people that they smell! Nor to say that they are gross.”

“Grosser, it iz the German for ‘beeg.’” The voice is even more irritated.


“Ya, large, not small.”

“Ah big.”

“Ya, beeg, and you smells. Not of the nice things like bad meat or sewer. Nein, you isiz like perfume, und klebrig.”

“Undklebridge?” I am lost

“Ent-school-cardigan, I means sticky.”

Whoever I’m talking to is right – about the perfume and stickiness, not the old meat, the sewer, or whatever that school cardigan means (perhaps this is what made Mick bitter). I do indeed smell, and rather pleasantly. I think I must have sat on something, I’ll just look. Aaagh!

A cockroach!

Sticking its head out of the case I am sitting on!



Tex Mex says:

I know some cockroaches. Some of them are real friendly.

Anastasia says:

Typical of a snooty bird to be afraid of cockroaches!

Barney says:

Roaches are a pest. Eats your food.

 Blogmaster says:

With www.blogmaster.org you can be free of all pests like computer viruses. We provide a complete service.

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About wiseegg

I am a writer and an editor. I write comic and serious children's fiction and edit the arts pages of the local newspaper group The Herald. I am useless at housework but love books and the theatre and I have three children and an unfeasibly large number of cats. Oh, and one of my best friends is a dodo.

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