The Way We Lied

She glanced at Charles and was pleased to see that he seemed to be enjoying himself, looking more relaxed than of late after all the pressure of leaving the agency and starting his new position. Perhaps he would continue to be the urbane and captivating man she had married after all, in spite of his new found principles.
Alex sipped her wine and slipped her foot out of her expensive sequined shoes. As her toes found Nick’s ankle he coughed and commented, “That was delicious. I’m really looking forward to the main course. How about you, sweetie?”
She laughed. “I’m simply ravenous tonight. I just want to devour everything I see! I can’t wait for the rest!”
Nick laughed too and pulled her hand into his and under his napkin to feel the growing excitement there. “Well save some room for me, darling.”
Alex whipped her hand away after giving his fly a quick squeeze. “Mmm, yummy, my favourite,” she pouted, then called across to Charles. “Darling your former business partner has a filthy sense of humour. Was he always so disreputable? Is that why you ditched him?”
“Absolutely, my love, old Nick there has the most disgusting repertoire of jokes in the business. Don’t get me started in front of the children! We’ll save them for later!”
“Yeah Charles,” retorted Nick. “ Why don’t you tell the one about the lady getting a tattoo. That always brings the house down!”
“Nick, I do hope you aren’t going to tell any of your appalling jokes tonight,” admonished Sarah, then turned to Helen, her neighbour. “He really can’t be trusted. Honestly a few drinks and he completely forgets all rules of decent behaviour!”
In response, Nick simply held his glass aloft to toast his wife. “Darling! To us! To my beautiful wife and her wonderful sense of humour!”
“GSOH,” he said, turning to Alex. “ Gross shortage more like!”
Alex giggled obligingly, but puzzled over the acronym.
“You know, good sense of humour, like in the personal ads.”
“Oh yes, of course, I couldn’t quite think what you meant for a minute. Charles used to have a good sense of humour. It’s not much in evidence these days, since he started his new venture.” She took a slow sip of wine. “So what would you put in a personal ad, Nick? Not that you’d ever have to advertise of course, darling!”
“Hmm, let’s see,” Nick pretended to stroke his chin and ponder, “GIB?”
Alex guessed its meaning, but chose to taunt him and frowned. “What’s that mean? Great Ideas Bloke?”
“Yeah, well that as well, but more like,” he dropped his voice. “Great in Bed. That should get a good response, shouldn’t it?”
“Oh, I guess it might work for you,” she said airily.
“Go on then, what would you say about yourself to haul in the fellas?”
She smiled, then turned to him and licked her lips slowly, very slowly with a very wet tongue. “I’ve never ever had to say anything about myself Nick, darling. They just all come running along after me and I just brush them away!”

to be continued April 4


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