The Way We Lied

I told Simon all about it when I got home and he just said why on earth would someone like that want to come and talk to a bunch of amateurs? And I got really upset about that because we’ve all been artists for ages and I think all of us have been to art college, so I thought that was a really unkind remark, as well as being misleading. Then he said he had heard of Mary Reid and that she was so incredibly successful she probably wouldn’t ever have the time to talk to us and anyway she was very cutting edge and had a reputation for being difficult, so if she did come she wouldn’t be encouraging at all, she would just rip our work apart. And that really bothered me, because Nicky, who was hoping to set up this meeting, had said that if we could organise it we should all bring in examples of our work for her to look at. I mean, I just thought I’m at a low ebb already, so do I need to go even lower? I’m not sure I could cope with feeling completely useless and insignificant in front of some super woman.
So then I began to get cold feet about the whole thing and I wondered about calling Nicky and telling her I wasn’t sure I could do it. But when I talked to Caroline at one of our regular afternoon get togethers I felt better. She isn’t arty at all, but she is really kind and understanding and we have been friends for a long time, so I can always really talk to her. We were having a coffee and she asked me if the gallery was bringing me any commissions and I told her all about the project idea. And she said she thought it was a brilliant suggestion. And so when I said I was doubtful, she said oh but you must do it, it sounds wonderful. When would you get another opportunity like this, she said, you can’t miss out on it. And so I thought I should just be brave and give it a go. And it’s happening tomorrow and I am really nervous. What if she doesn’t like my paintings? What if she is really intimidating?

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