I apologise for the silence and hope that I did not cause any of my dear friends concern. To be frank it has been an exhausting time and until I switched on my phone just a few short minutes ago I was not entirely clear what day it was, let alone what hour it was.
Today is an exciting day. I hope at last to be able to meet my new friend ‘Tasmania’ the thylacine.
Because my time is short I thought I would post some entries from my diary to keep you up to date, though first I wish to post an apology to the owner of Light As Air Luggage Emporium at Johannesburg airport for taking the holdall. I do hope the payment has come through by PayPal. I am also posting a newspaper article from the Daily Planet that I thought might be of interest to my readers and maps of Australia and Tasmania so that you can see where they are in relation to each other.
3 April 2014
Travelling is a wearisome business. I am a little bruised after riding conveyor belts in my canvas holdall, and as a result of all the bumping that necessarily occurs when one is thrown into a luggage van, or dumped in the hold of the airplane. The holdall disguise is a good one.
1, Find large scarf or cloak, dark glasses, stout boots. Don these and appear to be elderly Mauritian lady.
2, Find holdall.
3,Find family/group of travellers with enough luggage not to notice one extra piece among their pile (and amazing how distracted and vague some travellers can be).
4,Rapidly squeeze body into holdall. Stout boots can be a problem here, so best to check the boots are not too stout (refer to point one).
5,Engage in speedy leaping on to luggage trolley, and speedy leaping on and off conveyor belts before the security men and women notice. Again, stout boots can be a problem as they can be noisy so it’s best to ensure they have rubber soles (refer to point one).
6, After exiting plane and being placed on luggage conveyor belt, squeeze out of holdall just before reaching luggage carousel and hide behind a pile of suitcases. Do not catch laces of stout boots or frill on shawl in any zips or other fastenings (refer to point one). Likewise feathers.
7, Jump off the moment the cases come through into open.
8, Appear to be an elderly Mauritian woman eager to find her luggage.
9, Follow large group of travellers through customs.
Luggage porter says:
Hey, Ferdinand. I had 485R from a ‘Mrs Desai’ through PayPal. Is that you? You still owe me 500R for the other holdall you stole from Light As Air Luggage Emporium. I can’t just give away the stock in my shop for free you know.
Ferdinand (author) says:
Luggage porter, the ‘Mrs Desai’ is indeed me but I assure you that I took just one holdall. A grey one, costing 485R. You must look elsewhere for another thief.